After the last newsletter I sent answering a reader email, I received a ton of new questions. A whole bunch of those emails shared a similar question about understanding guys, but they went something like: "How do I make a guy ¦ (fill in the blank) Understanding guys questions: How do I make a guy like me, take me seriously, want to be in a relationship with me, stop dating other women, etc.? I get this question in many different forms, but they all had to do with understanding guys. Like I always say, you can't change a man. You cannot be his lover and his therapist or trainer at the same time. You will never change a man at his core. The only person who can change him is himself. He has to want to change. However, if you want to influence a man in his decisions, there are ways to go about it. One of the ways of understanding guys is understanding how they communicate. The other way is understanding how reward and punishment works. If you understand what a guy is saying to you or what he means when he says something, it makes it much easier to influence him. If you also know how to punish his behavior when he does something you can't stand and reward him when he does something you love, he'll want to do the things you love and avoid the things you dislike. Most women are at either extreme. They play hard to get worse than Chinese algebra, frustrate men, nag at them all the time, and cause drama. Some women spoil men, and let themselves be disrespected or walked all over by men. These women don't understand guys so don't listen to them when they give you advice. Some women think they know how to control men, but in reality she makes it very obvious that she is trying to manipulate him and play games, losing the respect of the guy, or making him resent her. Most men will just lie or be passive aggressive in response to this. I can teach you the healthy balance you need to get a man to do the things you want him to do. I'll teach you how to understand men. So, sign up for dating coaching.
Your Matchmaker and Dating Coach,
Dan Silverman
