Most men, even players who are good with women, don't qualify or screen women to meet any kind of standards other than physical attractiveness. It's important to screen women to fit your criteria for three reasons.
1. It says all the right things about you when you screen women. She will see clearly that you aren't desperate since only men who have options can be picky. This raises your attractiveness and puts you in the position of the chooser, a very attractive trait in a man.
2. The more a woman works for you, the more she will value you. Let's face it, anything we can achieve easily we take for granted. When you screen women and make her work for you, she will appreciate you and value you more than if you don't. A woman doesn't want to feel like you settled for her or she was the only option you had. It makes a woman feel special when she knows you chose her over other women.
3. Having standards means fewer problems in your life. It also means you will be selectively putting the kind of women you want in your life. If you love Hispanic women who dance and like to go out like I do, don't waste your time dating women who don't meet these criteria. Screen women! Don't just date every woman who is attracted to you. You may be throwing out would be opportunities, but if you're out there practicing and meeting women on a consistent basis, you're not wasting time with the wrong woman and creating time for the really worthy ones.
There are many ways you can screen women. One way is to directly ask her if she has the traits you are looking for. You don't need to be obvious to the point that she knows you are trying to screen her. Communication with a woman is always better when it's subtle. When she demonstrates qualities that you admire, let her know. If she does something you dislike, playfully tell her that she's screwing everything up and stop it. When I meet a woman whom I share mutual attraction with, if she pulls out a cigarette, I pull away and say, Well, at least you'd make a good friend. Usually, she looks at me confused because she's never heard this from a man before. She may say, What do you mean? Well, you're attractive, but the cigarette thing is a huge turn off for me. If she likes you enough, she will put it out or throw it away followed by her saying, I'm trying to quit. But if she's an addict, she will just keep smoking. At that point, I'll move on because I don't like kissing an ashtray. Another example is I'll ask her what the sweetest thing she's ever done for a guy. If she answers, she is qualifying herself to me. This is subtle but powerful when you screen women. She is subtly proving herself to you. This puts you in a great position and also gives you an opportunity to reward her. If she gives you a great story, compliment her on her story and tell her how you are really attracted to sweet women. If you want a woman to do more of something, give her attention for it. To learn more about how to screen women, sign up for
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Your Matchmaker and Dating Coach,
Dan Silverman
