Have you noticed the trend that many successful women have a lot of trouble when it comes to finding a husband? Many try to enlist the help of a matchmaker to find them someone, but even then, they have trouble with the dates they are set up on.
Financially successful women have it really good for themselves. They can pay their own way, they don't depend or rely on anyone for financial support. They are smart, hard-working, and responsible and in my experience working with them, usually very physically attractive. So why do they have so much trouble with dating? They are low maintenance, self-supporting, and independent. On paper, it seems they'd be great for any guy. But alas, it always seems to be the successful woman that comes to me seeking dating help.
After working with several dozens of successful women throughout my matchmaking and dating coaching career, I have discovered many patterns that cause their lack of success with dating, and no, they are not what you think.
Here are a few of them:
1. Too Picky - I have found that although most single women are too picky, the vast majority of successful single women are far more picky than the average woman. Why shouldn't they be? They have a laundry list of awesome traits that should make them have a line of suitors to their door. But they don't. So with the combination of being too picky and having limited choices, it's a recipe for perpetual singledom. I'm not saying that someone should go for someone they aren't at all attracted to, but the notion that there is a perfect guy out there is completely wrong. Every man has their faults and weaknesses. What's important is that the man who is courting you has good intentions and has faults that you can tolerate and accept. Being an inch shorter than you when you're in heals, having a bald spot, or not being a wine drinker are not that important.
2. Bad Behavior Around Potential Suitors - Many professional women make the argument that men are insecure around a confident, independent woman and that men just want women they can control. They've been saying this to defend their bad behavior towards men in order to not take responsibility for their off-putting behavior. Please remember that I am not categorizing all professional women, but particularly the ones who defend themselves with the belief in this stereotype about men. In reality, the "strong personality" is in fact abrasive and offensive. Specific examples of off-putting dating behavior is how some of these women will obviously screen and question men like the police, order them around, or point out every flaw and mistake the man may make. While a dominant, take no crap persona can work wonders in a work environment, particularly jobs populated mostly by men, it almost never works attracting a mate. Most men aren't looking for a boss or a new mother as their wife or girlfriend. They want a partner and someone they can respect who also respects them. So if you are guilty of this, learn to take it easy with men. Also, allow a man to be himself and don't tell him what to do. Allow him to take charge and court you. Men need to do this or it ruins the courtship process for him. Would you want a man to boss you around and judge you all day too? I didn't think so.
3. Immediately Screening Out Men Who Don't Make as Much As You - Just because a man doesn't make as much as you, doesn't automatically make him a lazy bum. Guys aren't intimidated of you because you make more, you just refuse to date them. If you are proud of your independence and have money already, why do you need a man to financially support you? Look for a good man who loves you for you, not a rich man. This goes for women who aren't professionals as well.
4. Too Busy - Another irony is that many lonely professional women are single because they simply don't make the time to meet men and date. Your work is very important, I agree, but your happiness is more important. You don't need to have a man in your life to be happy, but at the very least you should enjoy your single life and date. Happiness isn't all about your financial means, it's also relationships, experiences, mental and physical health, and personal growth. Balance your life and make time for the other important parts of your life. You make enough money already, what's a little less money each year for a whole lot more happiness?
I don't normally take on female matchmaking clients, but I do provide dating coaching. If you are interested, get in touch with me. Otherwise, go fill out my women's matchmaking database. It's free to join!
Dan Silverman
P.S. If you want to help support me, please leave a comment, tweet, like, and share this article on your social media. It does a lot to help!
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