In the last dating seminar I hosted, I received a good question from a student. He asked, "Sometimes when I'm out meeting women, my mind goes a million miles an hour and I can't stop overthinking. I keep overthinking about what I should say next, what I should have done, and I'm stuck in my head. How do I stop overthinking?" Sometimes this is caused by fear, nervousness, or anxiety, but this particular student informed me that he wasn't nervous, he just couldn't stop overthinking because he was planning for every action and situation that could possibly happen while he was out. Overthinking will put you in a kind of social paralysis. If you notice that you've frozen up and your mind is going a million miles an hour, don't panic! The way to stop overthinking is to shift your logical thinking into emotional thinking. Have you ever experienced a moment during a night out when you felt like you were on fire? You just glowed with confidence, were living in the moment, and didn't have a care at all? You felt great, like you could do no wrong, the women picked up on it, and were attracted to you because of it. This is because your mind was entirely in an emotional state. This is the state you want to aim for when you're out. So how do we get there, especially when we can't stop overthinking? Here's how. Have fun! It's as simple as that. Do wild and crazy stuff. Amuse yourself. Walk up to a complete stranger and ask them if they like pink puppies or aliens better. Ask someone who they think would win in a fight, Britney Spears or Justin Timberlake? Do things that generate fun and excitement, and at the same time make absolutely no sense. You want to get your mind out of the logical mindset and into an emotional one. If you're out with a wing, you can crack jokes about people, or discuss completely random and useless things for the sake of getting playful. Try and see if this works for you the next time you can't stop overthinking. I'm sure it will work. Of course, if you are simply too nervous and anxious to open your mouth or even approach people, then in-field dating coaching may be something you are interested in. I will personally guide you through it and help you overcome your insecurities.
Your Matchmaker and Dating Coach,
Dan Silverman
