It can be hard finding the right balance between when you should begin having sex or if you should wait longer. Especially with so many awful dating coaches and dating books out there saying all kinds of mainstream rhetoric. Let me tell you from a man's point of view who understands men on a very deep level. No nonsense here as usual... If you are only interested in casual relationships, or if you don't see potential in a long term relationship with a guy, then why would you wait at all? If you want to do it, then do it. If you're afraid of anyone thinking you're slutty for doing it, then keep the encounter to yourself or get new friends that won't judge you. Let your inner Samantha Jones shine. However, most of the time, if you have sex with a guy on the first night you meet him or the first date, it will turn out to be a one night stand and you may never see him again. This isn't always a bad thing depending on what you want. Let's discuss how long to wait to have sex with a guy. If you are looking for something a bit longer or maybe you really like this guy a lot, you will need to do a bit of waiting. He needs to earn your trust and your closeness first. By waiting, you show a certain respect for the relationship that you both are building. You want to be sure that he wants you for you, and not just the sex. You also give him the opportunity to work for you, and everyone values what they work for much more than what's simply handed to them. If he is not willing to wait a bit, he is not looking for the same thing you are looking for and should probably move on. Most women just follow the wait 3 or 6 dates, wait till commitment, wait till he says I love you, or whatever arbitrary number like it's a law to follow just because someone told them to do it. If a man knows you're holding out because someone else told you to or because you just follow it like it's a law, he'll lose respect for you because he'll see that you can't think for yourself. He'll either leave you because he no longer sees you as long term material or he'll wait and lie to you to have sex with you. Either way is bad. If things get heated and you feel it's too soon, you can say to him, Look, I'm very attracted to you, but I'm not ready to do this just yet. However, if you wait too long, you may frustrate him and soon become his conquest that he has to conquer. He will likely stop enjoying the build up of the relationship and just want to get it over with. This is not what you want. This is also a common mistake that many women make. Don't place a certain amount of days until you do it. You know it's okay when he shows signs of genuine interest in pursuing something more than just sex. If something more long term is important to you, that's when you may decide to have sex. Genuine interest is not in the words, but in the actions. If you do decide to sleep with a man, make sure the sex is good. Really good!.. and worth the wait! I can't stress this enough. If you don't make it mind-blowing, it may destroy the sexual tension and he won't want to see you again. If it's amazing, he will appreciate it that much more. If you like what I've been saying, consider hiring me as your
dating coach.
Your Matchmaker and Dating Coach,
Dan Silverman
