Many of my clients ask me - How do I make a girl comfortable to see me? How do I convince a girl to meet up with me? How do I build a connection with a girl? What should I say? All of these questions can be answered in a single sentence. Engage their emotional mind. People have two ways of thinking. The logical and the emotional. The logical mind deals with reason, systems, and anything that you would do in class or work. The emotional mind deals with creativity, feelings, intuition, and entertainment. Men are primarily logical thinkers. We love video games, debating conversations, playing strategy games, and watching the history channel. Women, with of course some exceptions, don't care for that logical crap. They love anything that puts them into an emotional state. They love gossip, playing truth or dare, talking about experiences, and watching soap operas. So stop asking them about school or work! Unless you absolutely have nothing else to say… don't ask. You'd be better off picking your nose in front of her than asking her about her work or school… the only exception to this is if she is an actress or in dance school or related areas because these are emotionally stimulating subjects. It's easy to keep her stimulated if you remember to keep the conversation emotional. In the early stages of an interaction, when you approach, you disengage her shield by teasing her. You say things that are very cocky and funny to make her feel attraction. Then you qualify her and make her feel like she is winning you over. In comfort building, this is where some people may feel they have to start asking boring questions to get to know each other, or they take the other extreme and continue being cocky and funny, hard to get, ball busting etc., and they blow themselves out. You can get to know the girl and ask her questions without being boring. Just be creative and honest. What do you really want to know about the girl? Honestly, do you really want to know how their work is or how school is? No! Are you asking them questions because you want to keep her attention or because you honestly want to know the answer? Ask them emotionally stimulating questions. What was your first kiss like? Have you ever been to Hawaii? What was your most embarrassing moment? Tell me a secret that none of your friends know. In comfort building, it's okay to ask logical questions sparsely, just make sure it's not the bulk of the conversation. Always remember that when interacting with a woman that you are trying to attract, to always engage her emotional mind. So, to recap and summarize all of this: if you want to attract a girl, make her feel attraction for you. If you want to make a girl comfortable with you, make her feel comfortable, and if you want to make a girl connected to you, make her feel connected. It's actually pretty easy when you practice engaging in these types of conversations. But if you are the kind of guy who is very left-brained, engineer kind of guy, this might be like learning a new language. Anyone can learn how to talk like this. I teach this fundamental core concept in my dating coaching if you are interested in working with me. Focus on giving her those wonderful emotions and relax. If you enjoy the process, she will too. She will be relieved that you can make her feel so good unlike most guys she meets. If you're not comfortable, she'll freak out. Get calibrated. The more fieldwork you do on this, the better you'll get at it. Keep it up, gentlemen. Until next time…
Your Dating Coach and Matchmaker,
Dan Silverman
